Why I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
I wasn’t planning on writing about this, to be transparent I’m very uncomfortable approaching the subject but I feel it’s something that needs to be addressed. When I was in the doctor’s office for my pre-op appointment my husband looked up from his magazine shocked by what he read. He was thumbing through a local magazine, Forsyth Family Magazine, and found an article that recommended the book Fifty Shades of Grey to teenagers! The exact quote is, “50 Shades of Grey is also a very popular series; they are somewhat explicit, and some teens may find these books to have too much adult content.” My husband’s comment was that, “most adults would find that it had too much adult content.” That was the first that I had heard of the book but I’ve heard nothing but buzz about it ever since.
The blogosphere is filled with chatter about the Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve seen Facebook friends post that they can’t wait to get a copy. My girlfriend’s grandmother is eager to read it. One friend heard that it is good Christian book and asked me if I knew anything about it. Another friend devoured the book in one day and hates that she can’t get the images out of her head. In attempt to keep the images out of your mind, I’d like to share with you the five reasons why I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
#1: Fifty Shades of Grey is categorized as fiction, erotic fiction. One online dictionary defines erotic as writing, pictures, or film which has “no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire.” That falls in line with the many reviews that say, “poorly written” and “unimaginative.” Part of Amazon’s description of the book says, “Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.” Erotic…stay with you forever. Hmm.
According to God, the inventor of sexuality, there is only one person who should stimulate a sexual desire in me and that is my husband. If God desires me to only be aroused by my husband then any other stimulation would be wrong. Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5: 27-28 NIV) This is also true for a woman who looks at {or reads about} a man. I believe reading erotica is sinful, plain and simple. This should be reason enough to convince you not to read Fifty Shades of Grey but I’ll continue in case you’re not convinced.
#2: We’re women {well, most of my readers are} and even though it is sad, devastatingly sad, we have to admit that a few of our men have looked at porn. How does that make you feel? It hurts my heart just to think about the possibility. Women have enough self-esteem issues without trying to compare themselves to the “perfection” created by professional make up artists, camera tricks, and Photoshop! You know what though? Your husband doesn’t deserve to be compared to a false, polished, idea of manhood either.
#3: The Bible clearly says that lust is harmful and warns us to flee from it. (Ephesians 5:3, Galatians 5:16, Psalms 101:3) Not surprisingly, neuroscientists and biopsychologists warn about the detrimental effects that lust, erotica, and pornography have on the human brain and body. Over time the human body becomes conditioned to self-gratification. Are you getting this? These effects are physiological. In the beginning a little erotica may give you a desire for your spouse but over time it will turn sex into a self-satisfying endevour. If you associate arousal with your spouse, their kiss, their scent, that is what, over time, will turn you on. However, if you open your focus to an endless chasm of sexual images, that is what it will take to turn you on. You’ll become less interested in real sex with your husband. While I’m not quoting sources for these studies, the post, 7 Negative Effects of Porn, shares easy to understand side-effects of pornography along with references. The fact of the matter is this, erotica robs you of the pleasure real sex can bring.
#4: The Bible exhorts us to be intentional about controlling our thought life, because we are what we think! Too often we fail to remember that our minds and hearts are programmed by what we listen to, watch and read. Romans 12:2 cautions us “…be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” II Cor. 10:5 says, “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” One of my favorite songs and Bible verses is Phil. 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Strive to hate sin the way that God hates sin. He hates sin because it is contrary to His perfect and holy nature. Sin causes separation between ourselves and God (Isaiah 59:2 NASB). Such separation has a horrible consequence: damnation in Hell, eternally separated from God. Jesus suffered, died on the cross, and rose again so that you can be forgiven of your sins! Don’t run back to that sin, hate it. I’ve heard Rand Hummel say, “God wants what’s best for your life.” I believe that with all my heart. God is not trying to keep any good thing from you but He wants what’s best for your life. Is this book, that has been called “soft-porn” and is filled with erotica, best? I don’t think so.
#5: This book contains BDSM. Do you know what that stands for? Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. Don’t feel embarrassed if you don’t know what those words mean, be glad in fact! If you do know, please see that the most damaging part of Fifty Shades of Grey is the dismal picture of sex it portrays. Sex was created by God to be enjoyed between a man and a woman. That passion should be fueled by self-sacrifice and love for the other person. Never humiliation or pain.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about a spicy and exciting sex-life within my marriage! Woot! Woot! I think the real issue is that women are dealing with a void in their lives. The problem with this is that no man on this earth can satisfy and fill the void that we all have. We have a God-size void in our soul that only God Himself can fill.
For those wondering if I’ve read the book, I haven’t. I don’t need to in order to discern that it is harmful to me. I value myself, my marriage, and my God too much to open this book’s pages. I know that not everyone will agree with my but if you feel the same as I do please take a moment to share this post with friends. I’m afraid that too many Christian women will pick up this best seller, will struggle to put it down, and won’t be able to get those images out of their heads.
