Archives for 2010

I’m excited to share this guest post from one of my favorite writers! Tammy is the owner of Garden Glimpses and a guest contributor at Heart of the Matter. Enjoy!

Diamonds and marriage go together. Having recently celebrated my 29th wedding anniversary, I glanced at the diamond wedding band on my hand and smiled. It is not my original wedding ring as years of wear and tear managed to damage the delicate band and diamond to a point of no return. The sturdy brilliance of my replacement ring represents our years of committed marriage with all its ups and down.

When we marry, our lives together represent a diamond in its natural form. Not always pretty, but definitely full of potential. Our marriages can be compared to the four qualities that are looked for when shopping for a diamond ring: color, clarity, carat, and cut.

Diamond color: The degree to which a diamond is colorless. The less color, the higher the rating.

How can a marriage become colorless when you combine two very colorful people? Does it mean we become plain, bland, and dull? No, not at all. In fact, I think it can mean quite the opposite. Through the years the two blend together to become a wonderful well working one. A husband and wife team that have learned the value of unity and endeavor to be their best as they balance the strengths and weaknesses of one another with God at the center of their lives. Like a prism that looks colorless, yet when God’s light shows through their relationship the multi-colors are revealed.

Diamond clarity: The presence of natural phenomena called inclusions which are the tiny feathers, crystals, or clouds only seen under high magnification. Flawless diamonds have no inclusions on the surface or internally. Many flawed diamonds still maintain their integrity with no visible inclusions.

How can a marriage become flawless when you combine two imperfect people? The reality is that none of us will become perfect, but we certainly can maintain integrity as we allow God to look at our flaws and allow Him to help us with those things that may cloud our marriage. When it comes to marriage, a good test to see how your are doing it is to read through a familiar wedding Scripture – I Corinthians 13:1-10 using your name in place of the word LOVE. It’s easy to see our shortcomings and yet as you consider the end of that passage, when God who is perfection is part of our lives the imperfections disappear as we apply grace over and over again to one another.

Diamond carat: The unit of weight of a diamond, not size. One carat can be divided into 100 points. Value rises with weight.

What adds weight to a marriage? There are many factors that can add solidity to our marriages. Making simple connections with one another in the midst of busy homeschooling lives is critical. It’s easy to put our children first, but the value of putting our spouses first is worth 100 points. Simple acts of kindness such a a little note in his lunch, making sure his favorite clothes are clean and ready, a loving voice message. Reading about our love languages and applying those gifts to each other or engaging in a study such as Love & Respect which has wonderful marriage principles to apply. Time spent one-on-one is truly priceless and builds the weight of intimacy in a marriage relationship.

Diamond cut: The angle and proportions of a cut will determine the diamond’s fire and brilliance. The shape and how well the cutting has been executed will also influence the cut.

What trials have shaped your marriage? It is well known that all marriages will have conflict in some manner. The key, however, is how we will allow these to affect our relationship with one another. Will we allow the angle of the cuts to destroy or to be a healing cut of pruning that we can grow from? Keeping God centered and relationship focused will execute healthier cuts during difficult times. Marriages will flourish and become stronger if both partners are willing to become humble and speak those difficult words of “I’m sorry” or “Forgive me” adding a dimension of brilliance to their relationship.

My husband and I have a long way to go to our Diamond Anniversary, yet we are both willing to consider the color, clarity, carat, and cut of our marriage to allow it more polishing as our Heavenly Father works in our relationship. May all of our marriage relationships continue to grow and flourish with our Heavenly Father’s love as that truly is the Heart of the Matter.

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from preschool age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.