Why I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
I wasn’t planning on writing about this, to be transparent I’m very uncomfortable approaching the subject but I feel it’s something that needs to be addressed. When I was in the doctor’s office for my pre-op appointment my husband looked up from his magazine shocked by what he read. He was thumbing through a local magazine, Forsyth Family Magazine, and found an article that recommended the book Fifty Shades of Grey to teenagers! The exact quote is, “50 Shades of Grey is also a very popular series; they are somewhat explicit, and some teens may find these books to have too much adult content.” My husband’s comment was that, “most adults would find that it had too much adult content.” That was the first that I had heard of the book but I’ve heard nothing but buzz about it ever since.
The blogosphere is filled with chatter about the Fifty Shades of Grey. I’ve seen Facebook friends post that they can’t wait to get a copy. My girlfriend’s grandmother is eager to read it. One friend heard that it is good Christian book and asked me if I knew anything about it. Another friend devoured the book in one day and hates that she can’t get the images out of her head. In attempt to keep the images out of your mind, I’d like to share with you the five reasons why I’m not reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
#1: Fifty Shades of Grey is categorized as fiction, erotic fiction. One online dictionary defines erotic as writing, pictures, or film which has “no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire.” That falls in line with the many reviews that say, “poorly written” and “unimaginative.” Part of Amazon’s description of the book says, “Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.” Erotic…stay with you forever. Hmm.
According to God, the inventor of sexuality, there is only one person who should stimulate a sexual desire in me and that is my husband. If God desires me to only be aroused by my husband then any other stimulation would be wrong. Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5: 27-28 NIV) This is also true for a woman who looks at {or reads about} a man. I believe reading erotica is sinful, plain and simple. This should be reason enough to convince you not to read Fifty Shades of Grey but I’ll continue in case you’re not convinced.
#2: We’re women {well, most of my readers are} and even though it is sad, devastatingly sad, we have to admit that a few of our men have looked at porn. How does that make you feel? It hurts my heart just to think about the possibility. Women have enough self-esteem issues without trying to compare themselves to the “perfection” created by professional make up artists, camera tricks, and Photoshop! You know what though? Your husband doesn’t deserve to be compared to a false, polished, idea of manhood either.
#3: The Bible clearly says that lust is harmful and warns us to flee from it. (Ephesians 5:3, Galatians 5:16, Psalms 101:3) Not surprisingly, neuroscientists and biopsychologists warn about the detrimental effects that lust, erotica, and pornography have on the human brain and body. Over time the human body becomes conditioned to self-gratification. Are you getting this? These effects are physiological. In the beginning a little erotica may give you a desire for your spouse but over time it will turn sex into a self-satisfying endevour. If you associate arousal with your spouse, their kiss, their scent, that is what, over time, will turn you on. However, if you open your focus to an endless chasm of sexual images, that is what it will take to turn you on. You’ll become less interested in real sex with your husband. While I’m not quoting sources for these studies, the post, 7 Negative Effects of Porn, shares easy to understand side-effects of pornography along with references. The fact of the matter is this, erotica robs you of the pleasure real sex can bring.
#4: The Bible exhorts us to be intentional about controlling our thought life, because we are what we think! Too often we fail to remember that our minds and hearts are programmed by what we listen to, watch and read. Romans 12:2 cautions us “…be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” II Cor. 10:5 says, “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” One of my favorite songs and Bible verses is Phil. 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Strive to hate sin the way that God hates sin. He hates sin because it is contrary to His perfect and holy nature. Sin causes separation between ourselves and God (Isaiah 59:2 NASB). Such separation has a horrible consequence: damnation in Hell, eternally separated from God. Jesus suffered, died on the cross, and rose again so that you can be forgiven of your sins! Don’t run back to that sin, hate it. I’ve heard Rand Hummel say, “God wants what’s best for your life.” I believe that with all my heart. God is not trying to keep any good thing from you but He wants what’s best for your life. Is this book, that has been called “soft-porn” and is filled with erotica, best? I don’t think so.
#5: This book contains BDSM. Do you know what that stands for? Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. Don’t feel embarrassed if you don’t know what those words mean, be glad in fact! If you do know, please see that the most damaging part of Fifty Shades of Grey is the dismal picture of sex it portrays. Sex was created by God to be enjoyed between a man and a woman. That passion should be fueled by self-sacrifice and love for the other person. Never humiliation or pain.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about a spicy and exciting sex-life within my marriage! Woot! Woot! I think the real issue is that women are dealing with a void in their lives. The problem with this is that no man on this earth can satisfy and fill the void that we all have. We have a God-size void in our soul that only God Himself can fill.
For those wondering if I’ve read the book, I haven’t. I don’t need to in order to discern that it is harmful to me. I value myself, my marriage, and my God too much to open this book’s pages. I know that not everyone will agree with my but if you feel the same as I do please take a moment to share this post with friends. I’m afraid that too many Christian women will pick up this best seller, will struggle to put it down, and won’t be able to get those images out of their heads.
About Ashley
Great review. I agree with you. We have to stand strong against this type of thing. I have been hearing much about this book but I have not read it nor will I. Thanks for informing us.
Thank you, Cheryl. I appreciate your comment! 🙂
BDSM is not all about pain or humiliation but I am not reading this book either. I do think Christian women need to stay away from literary erotica as the world tries to make it seem like that is what we should be engaging in.
I’m so glad that you wrote about this! I have heard too many people “glamorize” this book, and talk like everyone should run out and get it right away. I totally wholeheartedly agree with you!
Thank you, Angela! I appreciate your comment. : )
You’re awesome to share this with everyone! I agree with you completely. I’ve never heard of or read this book. I’d never read a book like this. There’s so much temptation out there but with God’s help people can resisit it. God Bless You. Have A Great Day!
Thank you for commenting, it’s a bigger encouragement than you know!
I LOVE this and what a Blessing that other women feel this way, I actually watched the real story and only got 10 minutes into it before my heart sank and stomache turned 🙁
I love your BLOG and would love to contact you about some ideas if you have time 🙂
Take care and Have a Fabulous Day On PURPOSE tomorrow xxoo
http://www.nataliemyers.com
Thank you, I’m glad to hear you like it! 🙂 Yes, I would love to listen to your ideas. You can email me via my contact form through the “Contact” button at the top of the page or you can email me at MrsAshleyWalkup at gmail dot com. I look forward to hearing from you!
I admit I thought it would be enticing to read, but I decided not to read it. After reading your comments, I will definitely not be reading it. Thank you.
Thank you for your comment, Anne, I appreciate it!
Thank you for your boldness in writing this! I pray it will save some from going down that path where they find it hard to come back (to what is healthy and normal )
That’s my prayer as well!
Well said, my dear!
Thank you. 🙂
I had this book on my to-read list because I saw a segment on GMA where they were praising it. After I found out that it was erotica, I no longer wish to read it. I would much rather read a good historical fiction, science fiction or fantasy book!
I agree!
I will admit, for a split second I was tempted to read it just to see what all the hype was about. But I’m really not interested.
I also saw the study before that you referenced in #3. Makes total sense!
Although I can appreciate your personal decision not to read the book, I feel it is never a good idea to give uninformed advice. If you have not read the book you are really in no position to critique the contents based on lack of literary classification. Yes, I am a Christian, but I am a Christian who chooses to provide an educated opinion when I speak on a topic. Respectfully.
It is easy enough to know what the book is about by just glancing thru it or reading the back cover and hearing about all the reviews. I’m not reading it either and agree 100% with Ashley.
She is making an informed decision. She was informed by God in the Bible that sexual immorality is sin and it is damaging in so many ways. Why does she need to read the book and find that out for herself when God already told her to flee from it? Wuld you drink something that said it was poison, just to be informed that it is? Or would you trust that the person who labeled it knew what they were talking about? It is the same thing. Isn’t that exactly what Adam and Eve did in the garden? They didn’t trust that God knew what he was talking about when he told them not to eat of the fruit. They had to find out for themselves. Just in case there was something He was holding back from them. We all know how that turned out. Humanity has paid the price ever since. I don’t want my husband and children to pay the price for my foray into sexual fantasy.
that’s like a guy ignorantly refusing to recommend next months playboy issue because he hasn’t educated himself by reading it yet. please….really?
i may or may not read it- (probably not, never have time to read these days, beyond kids books) but i think its really, really admirable that you have the strength in your faith and convictions to speak your mind like this- many are too afraid. and i will share with a few women who likely will agree with what you say 100%
Thank you for sharing and for your encouraging comments! 🙂
Loved this post! I’m so sharing this Ash!
Thanks, Dawn!
As wonderful as your post is, not all married couples are capable of sex. A book like this may not be the best reading choice, but before you throw out how it can hurt a marriage sexually, consider those that cannot do anything at all. Marriage is not just about sex. If it was, I’d be divorced.
That’s an interesting aspect to think about. I would recommend talking to your pastor and see what advice he has to give.
Very rarely do I completely agree with posts I read on Facebook. You hit the nail on the head and more power to you!
I’m glad you agree! 🙂
Sounds like a suped up Harlequin Romance book to me and that sort of thing doesnt interest me in the least. Good for you for standing up for your beliefs 🙂
Thank you for your comment, Alison. I appreciate it!!
Thank you for your thoughts on this. It takes courage to stand up to what we believe, especially for those thoughts which are in the minority.
It sure does! I’ve received a lot of nasty emails since I posted this and I’ve been cowering in the corner ever since. It’s tough to be the minority but I think some things are worth standing out for.
I just have 0 interest in reading this. I wouldn’t want to watch porn, so why would I want to read it? I think it is totally up to each person if they want to read it or not, but it’s not for me either.
I don’t read like I should, but this doesn’t sound liek a book I would enjoy. Glad you could speak your thoughts!
Its never a bad thing to have Christian morals!
I love this!
I can see your points. I’ve decided to pass on reading the book because I thought Twilight was horribly written (didn’t get through the first chapter) and since this is Twilight fan fiction, I’m sure it won’t appeal to me. On top of that I’ve heard the writing is worse than Twilight. Since I was an English major, I’m a terrible book snob and this series won’t be lying on my nightstand.
Thank you for your comment, Tesa. Although, I now feel nervous knowing I have an English major reading my blog! 🙂
I really appreciate you speaking out on this. I have no desire to read these books. Just knowing that they are erotica was bad enough but to know that they involve BDSM really turns my stomach. I cannot see that being healthy for a relationship or empowering for a woman.
Blessings to you!
Thank you, Alida! I appreciate your comment. 🙂
Just wanted to say that I’m also a Christian but I did read this book. And the others. Someone said that there wasn’t a safe word in the book and that’s just not true. The main character had the ability to stop what was happening at any time. I personally don’t see a problem with fantasy, but everyone is allowed their own opinion. I think one can certainly decide not to read a book bases on let’s reviews but I don’t see how all these people can be giving so many opinions on a book they haven’t read. I thought the book was erotic yes but also a really good love story. They end up getting married and have a wonderful life together. Certainly I can see how Christians wouldn’t ant to read the book but I don’t think it needs to be an issue for those who decide they do want to read it.
I 100% AGREE with your viewpoint. The question I ask myself is how can a Christian read it? It is full of sin and I have enough struggle with my own flesh without making my mind go there by filling it with such vile, sinful acts. Thanks Ashley for taking a stand for what is holy, pure and good. Standing on the Righteousness of God. The Bible calls sin what it is and this book is sin.
Yes, these are my thoughts exactly! The Christian life is a battle and your thought life is a prime target for the enemy.
That is my thoughts also. If you are a Christian than the Holy Sirit dwells in you. How can you than not be convicted when you are in sin? It makes me sad to know that Satan has so many people believing his lies. We are called as Christian to walk like Jesus. I am positive that not a single person would be comfortable reading this book out loud to Jesus.
I don’t share the same beliefs, but I absolutely respect you for sharing yours & for refusing to do something that goes against yours! &I won’t be reading it either- mostly because I downloaded the sample for Kindle & couldn’t even get through it, the writing was so bad. There was nothing sexual in the preview whatsoever, but it’s just not a writing style I can enjoy.
Thank you, Shell. 🙂
I loved your article you have very valid points, but I feel as a BDSM lover I have to point out that BDSM is all consensual it does not involve rape at all and is typically done with someone that one trusts alot such as a boyfriend/girlfriend. Loving BDSM does not take my love for God away its just another way to spice up the bedroom for me and my bf or gf. I did read 50 shades of gray and I loved it, but i would not recommend it to those who are unable to handle the thought of BDSM.
Hi there,
Found you through Time Warp Wife’s Titus 2 party 🙂
I’m not reading it.
I saw it all over Pinterest, I wondered about it, looked it up and saw the word erotica. Nuff said for me.
All the best,
Dana
CookingAtCafeD.com
Thank you for your comment! I’m going now to check out your blog. 🙂
I have read 50 Shades of Grey. Infact, I’m now reading part two, 50 Shades Darker. While I commend you for sharing your beliefs, I think to be able to criticize or”ban” a book (ANY book) you need to have read it first. Talk about “judging a book by its cover”. Isn’t that rather judgemental & therefore not very Christian?
As you are reading a Christian viewpoint aimed towards other Christian women, I feel it’s necessary to point out that “judging” is actually extremely Biblical in this sense. Christians are supposed to inform other Christians of things that would be potentially harmful, sinful, or blatantly wrong in a respectful and Bible-backed way. I believe this post (with the disclaimer that she has not read the book) does those things. She did indeed judge the book by its cover: it is labeled as erotica and therefore she feels the need to abstain from reading it. That’s a logical conclusion if erotica is sinful or wrong (again, she provided scripture to back her view).
Technically, the Bible says to judge other Christians and hold them to a high standard, without condemnation. This has nothing to do with non-Christians, who aren’t the aim of this post anyway.
You can believe what you want about being “informed” having read or not read the book, but even reading the description was enough to raise red flags. I have not read the book either, nor do I have intent to, as leafing through the pages and reading the description was enough to make me come to the same logical conclusion.
My only “bone to pick” would be with her statements about BDSM and what it is. But those have already been pointed out in other comments.
I respect everyone’s right to have their own opinion, however, I personally take issue with anyone actually condoning their own judgmental behavior as “biblical”. It seems to me people often pick and choose bible verses to serve their own purposes. The bible says all who do not respect their parents will be put to death (Leviticus) but I doubt (or hope) anyone one takes that verse to heart.
I respect your choice not to read the book, but I do resent the implications that anyone who does is not moral. But maybe it all goes back to judgement and I am PROUD to say I am a very non-judgmental person.
I hate it when people take a verse out of context too! I try to do my best to interpret Scripture literally. Even if you read the surrounding verses I don’t know how else you could interpret this verse. Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5: 27-28 NIV)
I really do understand what you’re saying and respect your opinion. For me though, reading a book about a fictional character does not make someone an adulterer or immoral. However, I do believe someone can commit adultery without performing the actual act.
I guess for me the bigger issue I struggle with is how people can choose to accept some verses without accepting others. I’m not trying to be disrespectful, this is honestly something I have a hard time understanding. For example, I don’t know how else you could interpret this verse; “All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense.” (Leviticus 20:9 NLT) I don’t know how it could be translated to anything other than what it is very clearly saying. And there are many verses about people being killed or stoned to death. And how does this fit with the 6th commandment?
I think I’ve gotten way off-subject! These are just some of the unanswered questions that swirl around in this head of mine. 🙂
That’s a legitimate question, Lori! I would love to discuss hermeneutics sometime with you.
The book of Leviticus is the third book of Moses which God gave to Israel by Moses. The book is called Leviticus because it contains the laws and ordinances of the levitical priesthood. The verse you mentioned should be read literally but thankfully it no longer applies to us. We should still honor our parents but we no longer have to follow an impossible list of rules. The Bible says in Gal. 3:24, “Why the law was our schoolmaster to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith (AKJV). The law was given to show us that we are sinners and to bring us to a saving faith in Jesus. Does that make sense?
If you want to reply here you can or if you would like to email me personally you can do so at MrsAshleyWalkup at gmail dot com. 🙂
Hmmmmmm..Are YOU a christain?She gave her opinion, she did not suggest book burning. Garbage in usually =garbage out. WHY do you want to read ANYTHING suggestive? I don’t understand your thinking at all.We are to guard our hearts and minds.
No one said ANYTHING about banning the book ! There is a tone to your letter that makes me wonder…are YOU saved and walking closely with the Lord? Can you see Jesus reading this book? God gave us discernment for good reason.. to PROTECT our hearts and minds! As was shared in a reply above, God has already judged and we can know what is not best for us by being in His word, knowing Him and walking closely with him. WHY do you WANT to fill your mind with erotica? Maybe you need to ask yourself that……..
I appreciate your frank and refreshing report! I am a little worried about some of the responses to your article though…there was a time not too long ago that a woman could stand on her morality and was respected for it…not criticized for not being educated! I can wholeheartedly say that drugs are bad without having tried them, I think the same should go for morality…I am glad you decided not to read a book that would negatively influence you and your husband, as well as your relationship with God. I love that you were open and candid and gave good, Godly, and sensible advice, and backed everything up…that shows that you are educated and INFORMED….as far as being judgmental, it seems that plenty of people have judged your opinion. You did not preach at anyone or condemn them for reading it, you just gave your opinion…I think that condemning you for your opinion is more judgmental than you giving it in the first place…so as that to say, I love your opinions and I hope you keep sharing them.
I love what you had to say Jennifer. It saddens me to see many Christians leading the charge into realms God never intended our minds to go. God’s peace is intended to guard our hearts and minds as we live in Christ Jesus.
The Bible tells us that one of the highest, ultimate goals that God has in store for each one of us is our transformation in Him – and this transformation is accomplished by the renewing of our MIND.
The Bible tells us that God wants to sanctify (set us apart) us and transform us into the express image of His Son Jesus Christ.
He wants to make us into a better and more holy people, both on the inside and the outside.
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Romans 12:2
That renewing comes from reading God’s Word. It educates us on what God wants to do with us in the sanctification-transformation process. If we’re not staying in the Word, we’ll have a very hard time being able to fully cooperate with Him when He’s trying to renew and transform us on the inside.
The process is actually done by the Holy Spirit, however the Spirit can’t begin a work in us if He doesn’t have anything to work with, and that something is knowledge…knowledge that can only be obtained by reading Bible.
God wants us to noursh our spirits which will in turn nourish our minds which will flow into our thoughts into our words and actions.
There are some things you give to no one but God, and one of those things is your mind. We have a difficult time as it is taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He wants ALL of heart, not just the areas that have been partitioned for worshippng Him.
Remember, we can’t hide anything that’s in our hearts from Him. If we choose to entertain the sinful thoughts and lusts of the flesh, we’re going to suffer in the end.
I’ve learned over the years that a man speaks from that which fills his heart, and if the heart is in a dark place, so are the thoughts which manifest themselves in words or deeds. Garbage in, garbage out.
Reading things like romance novels containing immorality WILL corrupt us over time. Our godly character will diminsh as we feed the lusts of the flesh.
If bad company corrupts good morals, why would I want to entertain anything that appeals to my flesh?
Why would I choose to be engaged in anything that would invade my mind like a cancer?
This lines up with what Paul wrote in Ephesians 6 about satan roaming the earth like a ravenous lion seeking those he can devour.
Our struggle for righteousness is not against flesh and blood, it’s against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
David said it for me in Psalm 101:31 “I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar.” And THIS is why I will not read Fifty Shades of Grey. When it comes to spiritual matters of the heart, there aren’t any *grey* areas.
“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.” Colossians 3:2
Finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is
excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Whatever you have
learned or received or heard from Me, or seen in Me—put it into practice. And
the God of peace will be with you. (Phillipians 4:8-9)
Our hearts are our treasures, and should be guarded at all times. When satan and worldly things (books, movies, etc,) start creeping into our minds, they don’t just get a foothold on us, the get a STRONGhold on us that’s hard to break free of.
We need to put on the armor of God and put away anything that does not bring glory and honor to His holy name.
Lets not forget, as Christians, we’re only passing through. This world, along with all its sin, will pass away…only that which has been done for the Lord will last.
Ask yourself before you engage in any activity, “Would this be pleasing to God’s eyes and ears? WWJD?”
Wow! Very, very well said!
I completely agree! I love romance, but stick to only Christian romance, particularly things like love inspired historical series books because they are well-written while being VERY innocent.
From the people who I’ve seen talk about how explicit it is, it must be pretty bad, which leaves me feeling surprised at all the Christian woman I see reading these books. I even heard it called “mommy porn” and people telling men that they should get it for their wives, etc. I completely agree, it’s not for me! I’m going to share this post on facebook if that’s okay 🙂
Yes, please feel free to share it with the world! 🙂
Someone I know who is in to BDSM says what’s portrayed in the Fifty Shades trilogy is an outsider’s idea of what BDSM is, and calls what’s in the book rape, torture, and abuse because Christian, the so-called romantic lead, manipulates Ana, the main character, into doing what she does. Ana does not have full knowledge of what she’s getting into, so she is totally unable to give informed consent, which is paramount in BDSM. There’s always a ‘safety word’ and the sub(missive) can say it at any time and the activity stops immediately. That’s not what happens in the book, so on top of the reasons you gave above, you can add that what’s portrayed is an outright perversion of sexuality and a sexual relationship, period.
I’ve seen excerpts from the first four chapters and the writing is Terrible. That alone is enough reason not to waste your time on it. Christian Grey is arrogant and verbally abusive and the main character says in the beginning he frightens her and she finds him weird and scary. Without her knowledge or permission, he finds out where she works (at a hardware store) and when she’s working and then goes there during her shift to pick up BDSM supplies, and while he’s talking to her, he makes several remarks that come off like veiled, and very creepy, attempts to come on to her. He’s good-looking, though, so of course she’s attracted to him, and after less than two hours, cumulative, in his company, she decides she’s in love with him. A chapter or so later, he somehow determines the location of her cell phone so he can pick her up from the bar she’s at after she accidentally drunk dials him. She did not ask him to come. He said he was going to and hung up. It is completely illegal to track someone down using their cell phone, by the way. Oh, and he sends her a $14K first edition of the ‘
I’ve had the misfortune of dealing with men who have no concept of boundaries and was sexually assaulted a little over two years ago.
I like your post it is well informed and lists the points of BDSM
It is sickly obvious that you also are making uninformed accusations on this book. Here are a few facts from the book, no Ana did not know what BDSM was bus Christian bought her a laptop so she could research it until she knew what she was getting into. Yes safe words were used and very stressed in this book and the couple time she used them he stopped immediately. I am very sorry that you went through a traumatic experience two years ago nobody should have to go through that. But that is nowhere near comparable to what goes on in this LOVE STORY. everything Ana did in the book was consensual it was not rape or sexual assault he forced nothing on her! BDSM is fully consensual.
It is sickly obvious that you are not as informed as you should be. Do you know the consequence of this book? Do you know how many young teen girls will go out there trying all this? Do you know how many lives can actually get wrecked? It’s a sickly adaptation of Twilight and a character like Christian Grey who has a cruel relation with 15 other women is seen as positive?? Would you actually go for a love story like that? Or are you just fantasized by the ending of the novel? Where the bad guy turns to good guy… It hardly happens in real life. As an adult you should be stopping this instead of promoting it. Think of all the young lives that will be affected by this book!
I am in COMPLETE agreement with you. And THANK YOU for standing for what you believe. xoxoxo
Thank you, Jennifer! You are an encouragement. 🙂
Amen!!! From someone who has dealt with infidelity in marriage, I agree with you 100%. Marriage is great, satisfying and always best within God’s boundaries. Always.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. Sin is always enjoyable for a season but it is very destructive too. Thank you for your comment! 🙂
Exactly! Also why I returned Water for Elephants to Target. Once those images get in your head they are stuck there!
Yes! I’m glad you agree. 🙂
Yep, not reading it either and I frankly don’t really get why many Christian women are ok with it! It’s one thing to read a book and come across some of those sexual aspects not knowing they were there (and then either stopping the book or skipping over it) but it’s another thing to intentionally start a book KNOWING it’s very erotic. My husband, who never has an opinion about what I read, specifically asked me not to read it.
They are just sadly deceived. Either thinking that they can handle it or that it will somehow bring joy to their lives.
This is EXACTLY why some Christians get a bad reputation (e.g. “Bible Thumpers”, etc). These books are as much romantic as they are erotic. Of course, none of y’all would know that since you wouldn’t even read them. The author of the blog says she has no objection to adding some spice to her marriage. Somehow, I find this hard to believe. Unless that means she is going to light two candles instead of one.
You said that they are as much romantic as they are erotic. You are admitting that they are erotic. As I tried to state above, I view erotica as sin. I believe that’s what the Bible teaches and I am unapologetic in looking to the Bible for my beliefs. I had hoped that it was obvious that this post was written for other Christians or those who have similar moral standards. If someone doesn’t have the same view of God as I do it would be ridiculous for me to expect them to have the same values and beliefs. I apologize if I’ve offended you by my opinions. It wasn’t meant to bash those who see things differently as I do but to warn those who do.
UGH!!!!! The Bible has a WHOLE section of Erotica in it!!!!
If youve read the Bible
LOL Song of Songs, yes, but just an FYI – Jewish boys studying the Bible were not allowed to read Song of Songs until they were considered of an age (often married). Just saying…
You call that erotica? That’s teaching you about the human body, about love and about a relations between one man and a woman…It’s not about sexual bondage, its not about a man whipping a woman for his pleasure and its certainly not about sex promotion for the sake of fame and money.
Isn’t there sex and even incest in the Bible?
Yes, the Bible is a history book and in it there’s everything from murder to adultery, to killing babies. These things are never praised though. Sex within the context of marriage is a wonderful thing and the Song of Solomon expounds greatly on that.
this is one huge reason I cannot stand some Christians how can you say some people are condemned for not obeying certain parts of the bible because you agree with it but if you dont agree with a certain part of the bible it isnt as big of a deal. who are you to deicde what parts of the bible to listen to and what parts are just so old they dont really count anymore.
I believe that the whole Bible is accurate, every bit of it. I agree with you, I’m completely against people taking Scripture out of context to back their own beliefs.
There’s a fine line between “deciding” and “informing”. Please see the difference before you post a rude comment. The author didn’t decide on anything. She took a stance from the point of view of a Christian adult. You are free to disagree, however you are not disagreeing…you are in turn being downright offensive and within the first line of your comment, you have just shown your tolerance level. It’s sad, very sad.
And this is exactly why Christians are seen as “low lives” with “no moral boundaries” whatsoever in countries outside of the US. If you get out of your cocoon, you will see how the world views us…Obsessed with erotica, obsessed with fictional characters (remember the Twilight saga that drove teen girls mad searching for their “Edward”?? Now this is for mothers of teen girls)..Don’t you see the irony in this? Someone who crafts a crappy story for the sake of popularity. she doesn’t know what she has let lose into the minds and hearts of young girls.
Help me understand what is a sin about something erotic, please. Is it a sin to seek sexual pleasure? Isn’t sex in and of itself erotic?
Erotic and erotica are two different words. Sex in and of itself isn’t bad at all. Enjoying the pleasure of sex inside of marriage is a great thing! Seeking sexual pleasure or lusting after others outside of marriage is a sin. Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5: 27-28 NIV)
Every book is good to read. It opens our minds, it boosts our imagination and inspires our creativity. Even the bible is a book I read occasionally for pleasure. Without sex, none of us will be here. I love the book and I’ve got all three. Fantastic read.
Thanks for this! Posting like this is sure to cause backlash from non-believers, don’t lose heart! I wrote a post that examines this book from the non-believer’s perspective as well though, if you are interested!! http://wp.me/pRVYm-gk
Thanks for sharing! I read and commented on your post.
Yes, they have premarital sex in the 1st book. They get married in a later book. My issue with this post is that you have never read the book. I understand this is a blog and you can write any opinion about anything you would like, and you are not a journalist and don’t have to present both sides of an issue (i.e., actually reading the book for research).
I am a Christian, have been since I was very young and am now in my mid-30s and a mom and married to a wonderful man who I’ve dated steady since we were 21, and lived together (gasp!) since we were 22, and married 6 years ago.
When I read this book, I was not substituting the characters’ sex for my own or fantasizing on a fictional man. I will admit I wish there were MORE sex scenes in the book. It was entertainment. Your post is like telling people they cannot eat a piece of chocolate, otherwise they will become an instant addict. Really, how many people become an addict of sex in the form of written word?
My husband and I have a great sex life, we do stuff you’d be embarrassed to read about, and it does not take away from my or his power. After God, he is my love and I am his, and we have a great time together…almost every night since we are both pleased every night! Yeah kinky sex!
I based my review on the secular reviews that called it “Mommy porn,” “erotica,” “BDSM,” and an “erotic novel.”
What takes place in the bed of a husband and wife is not anyone’s business. If it’s consensual, and pleasurable, to BOTH of you, that’s one thing, but needing to consult a *romance* fictional book for *ideas* is another.
IF there’s not enought *spice* in a married couple’s sex life, seek marriage counseling to get to the root of the issue, don’t just put a bandaid on it. What happens when the *spice* isn’t pleasurable anymore? Where do you turn? To extramarital affairs?
There are only so many “pleasurable, spicey” things one can try, when the well dries up, what then? You have to face reality, that’s what. Once you’ve had *more* being able to find content in the “way it was before” isn’t all that easy.
Men look at pornography and become dissatisfied with the woman he has because he fantacizes that she should look and act like what he’s feeding on. It’s NOT reality.
We always want more, better, more *spicey*, more exciting. That’s the natre of the flesh, it always wants more. More is never enough though, it eventually loses its ability to please our flesh. Again, what then?
I cant BELIEVE you have written something you are SO against, without EVEN reading it! You NEED to educate yourself.
However, I do agree with this article: http://www.montereycountyweekly.com/news/2012/jun/07/fifty-shades-mediocrity/
so are you one of the people who needs to take Heroin because it makes you feel good, this Book is Trash first class and doesn’t need to be read, now go back and watch Jerry Springer
Would you have to read a book encouraging you on 20 different ways you can kill a person in order to EDUCATE yourself? I agree with everyone against reading this boo.k.Your thinking on this is flawed.
Thank you for posting this. It was hard finding a Christian response to this book since when I type the title and “Christian” in the search engine I get no where since the main character is ironically named Christian. I had no idea what this series was about except that it was a romance novel. I kept hearing about it on TV and finally looked it up online. Wow. I’m glad I found your post because women need to know about this in light of Gods Word.
That’s so encouraging to hear! All the negative feedback is worth it if it’s helped keep one person away.
I realize I’m a bit late to comment, but I just read your article today. I am not from the US but have noticed the hype about this book in the blogosphere also. Not being from the US, I didn’t have a clue what this book is about. So I went on amazon and read the reviews, and everything in me KNEW, that it was not good for me to read such a book. Not in a dramatic way, but I just knew I shouldn’t read it. In fact no one should, not only Christians. But I guess until society realizes how destructive their attitude towards sexuality is, people will think it’s no big deal (and recommending it to teenagers…REALLY?). I also have noticed, that some Christian women are reading it under the label of ‘a little self-indulgence’, which is just sad and wrong.
Oh and about the ‘informed decision’ debate- I know what sex is about and I’ve read enough of the reviews on amazon to be able to imagine what the content of 50 Shades of Grey would look like. As you said in your first point: It is categorized as ‘erotic fiction’- that alone is enough for any christian man or woman to NOT read it. Now that’s what I call a wise decision.
Thank you for the encouragement! 🙂
This is pretty random, but here it goes,
The author of fifty shades of grey…isn’t the only author who includes items such as adultery and more in it.
Why is everyone disliking her, as though she’s the only one?
People who know adultery is a sin, should not or would not do it – SIMPLE
matter of fact….there was a part in the book…(for those who have no read it)
in which Ana steele actually went to the church.
this book…is pure FICTION
only written for entertainment….it is not a “YOU MUST DO WHAT IS IN IT” book
it is no different from the movies that aren’t near bit perfect.
I agree there are some “sin” parts in it, but then again…it’s not the only book that depict such behavior now? is it?
Its plain and simple Trash
Instead of the morality of the book, I would be more concerned about the blatant misogyny and racism in this book, and I would be startled that a poorly written Twilight fan fiction is being praised as a great piece of work. Not everybody is a Christian, I don’t think this book is good for non-Christians either.
You can read something called a sporking here where two women give their opinions on the book while reading it: http://das-sporking.livejournal.com/242338.html
The first five chapters do not contain any sex, but I find it sufficient enough to judge the book.
You sound like one of the most boring woman in the world, not to mention the most judgmental. Your husband is probably seeing other women for a good time, because I doubt that he is getting it from you. But keep clutching your Bible and quoting from it while you dry up.
You sound like the most hateful, miserable man in the world. What a horrible thing to say to someone! If you don’t have anything nice, or even constructive to say, don’t say anything at all.
I’m kind of disappointed in this list. I was expecting something a bit more than “It’s Immoral because the Bible says so!” I could see if this was one point, but that’s your only point that you belabor for 5. I can appreciate that you feel, as a Christian, this goes against your beliefs, but I was hoping for a more in-depth discussion of how women are being fed this line of nonsense and are gobbling it up without realizing how misogynistic and poorly written it is. Then again, since it’s Twilight Fanfiction with the names changed, that’s really not much of a surprise. I redirected myself here from Buzz Feed where you made your post – had I known this was only going to discuss your religious objections, I wouldn’t have bothered. Just sayin’.
I’m so sorry that people are giving you a hard time for not reading the book. I have had may conversations with my mom friends and all of us have come to the same conclusion, it would be harmful to our marriage. This article writes it out so plainly and I can not wait to share it with them. Marriage is so hard anyways, why would you introduce something to make it that much harder. It’s so ridiculous that you are being told you can’t judge a book if you haven’t read it, I would encourage those ladies to read the Bible, in it’s entirety, not just the OT.
AGAIN, thank you for the article, don’t let the negative comments get you down!!
Thank you for writing this. I have MANY friends who have been reading and re-reading the book. I’ve been really struggling with the fact that I’ve been NOT wanting to read it. Now I know why….Even though I could get my hands on the book by borrowing it from friends. I think I have a better understanding and the points needed to stand firm in the struggle to not read it.
I am a fan of twilight and so once the 50 Shades came out I knew that it was all about sex and the imagination to go wild in our minds since Edward was all that was on the brain for a lot of twi-fans. I’ve listed enough to my friends talk about all the things in the books and how their husbands embrace or don’t embrace the fact that they are getting all worked up. To say that one cannot get worked up over a book thats sole purpose is to make you go to that place means they were not really reading it.
Thank you again for this. I’m standing with you in not reading the books…or going to the movie. I’m also so worried that teenagers are reading this book….its no wonder issues are coming up younger and younger with books like this and movies like this becoming “perfect for teenagers”
Since so many people have a problem with your comments on the book since you haven’t read the book I wanted to say what I thought about it since I have read it. I am 22 years old, have been a christian since I was 7, and I am not married but have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. After hearing about all the hype about it I found a free copy of the first book online. I read half of it and made myself stop. The writing was not very good but that isn’t what made me stop. I stopped because it was addicting. It was very inappropriate and erotic and as a christian I didn’t feel like it was a book I should be reading. I knew it was wrong to be reading, it was not a book that I think God would want me to be reading. It was in no way helping me as a person. I don’t think my boyfriend or future husband would want me to continue reading it. I 100% agree with your statements and opinions on the book and I want to thank you for writing what you feel and believe, you were spot on.
Thank you so much for posting this. I think all women should take your thoughts to heart as I believe 100% that this book is extremely harmful and demoralizing. People have forgotten the true meaning of sex, thanks to society and culture, and created disgusting fantasies that will in time ruin relationships and connections God intended between men and women. I absolutely refuse to read this book and have no intention of “figuring out” what this book is about to validate an argument. Ever since it’s release, the only comments I have heard deal with straight lust and sadistic sex. No one should subject themselves to those images or those thoughts in their life. As a strong believer, I highly recommend women avoid desiring a lifestyle the relationship displays by removing these types of literature from their reading list.
Based off all your back and forth comments on here, perhaps you should state at the beginning of your blog that you mean this towards “Christians” who follow the ways of the bible, verses sending this out to everyone in the world who decided to read it. It sounds like you are basing your opinions mainly on being Christian and that you’re trying to “warn” other Christians about it, which is fine as long as you’re not trying to push your biblical beliefs on others who may not follow it as closely as you do. I think that’s part of why you’re getting some of the negative comments.
Thank you for this…I am sure you may receive many comments regarding the error of forming such a strong opinion about something you have not read. I also do not plan to read this book, for the same reasons you won’t be; and I do feel that your opinion/conclusions ARE based on solid research and information. Like you, I am crazy about my husband of almost 20 years, and our sex life is an important and wonderful part of our marriage. Reading this book is a betrayal of that – no different than looking at pornography on the internet etc. Many of the young women I work with are reading the series, and they all agree that they are reading it for one reason…the erotic content. Of course this doesn’t speak for all readers of the series, but it does help me personally in my decision NOT to read the series. Again, I thank you for your post!!!
This comment is a little late judging from the date you posted this, but thank you for sharing your thoughts. I actually was just browsing coupon websites to get ideas and places to get a good wordpress theme for my couponing blog I started in March. I am in Hawaii, I am a Christian, and I started a local couponing blog that shared the Word as well as share deals with Hawaii residents. I must say that this post has caused a lot of controversy and both negative and positive feedback. I commend you for your courage to post something that would stir people, I don’t think I would have been able to write a post like yours. I am strong in my faith, but I feel that I am still a “baby Christian,” if you will, and I totally need to guard my heart. Thanks again for your post. I heard the name of the book on Jimmy Fallon, and I had a feeling that it wasn’t good material for me to read, but I never bothered to look into it. However, I confess that I am a fan of the Twilight series, and I believe there are controversies about that series, but I honestly don’t know what those controversies are because I’ve only become a Christian two years ago. While the movies have still been coming out, I haven’t heard anything bad in the Christian community about it. Thank you again! I love that your site not only shares deals and freebies, but it also is a beacon of light. Continue to shine your light! Me ke aloha, Anela.
Haha… just makes me laugh a little.. I bet all the Christians that were complaining about and hating the Harry Potter series when it was a hit are all wishing they’d kept their mouths shut right about now.. after the uber sexual Twilight series, and now a Twilight spin-off 50 Shades of Grey. Harry Potter is not only harmless to your morals and religion… it actually HAS morals, lessons, food for thought.. and it’s all about friendship and love.
Someone please tell me what Twilight is about. Controlling dominant vampire loves selfless helpless human female. She can’t function without him, he controls every aspect of her life (even in high school). But it was just awesome when Christians lapped up the Twilight bullcrap.. simply because the characters abstained from sex until they were married. Really? So do ALL of the characters in Harry Potter! And Harry Potter isn’t teen erotica, mommy porn, or religious in any way whatsoever! Makes me tired of the whole religious viewpoint altogether, when Christians condemned Harry Potter, but praised Twilight. Harry Potter = amazingly written by a skilled author that captivated the minds of people of all ages all over the world because of it’s GOODNESS. Twilight = POORLY written books considered soft porn, mommy porn, and displays negative behaviors and thoughts.. which teens and lonely wives crooned over and became obsessed with.
Yeah. I think I know what kind of books I’ll be reading in the future. Not Twilight or anything close to it, thank you very much. And that’s for very NON-religious reasons.. because I don’t have to make the right decision or have decent judgement simply because I’m religious.
and they’re JUST FINE with Lord of the Rings- which has just as much magic as Harry Potter!!
As publishers of a popular women’s sexuality and entertainment site over the past 10 years, we were amazed at how this Trilogy literally skyrocketed women of all ages exploring their sexuality on our network of sites. Regardless of its literary merit, one thing that this series has done is given millions of women a ticket out of the closet to explore their sensuality and even kinky sides! Kudos! Beth at sssh.com
Sister, you’ve hit this one out of the PARK! Nice to know that there are women who are standing up against this stuff. You don’t have to smell garbage to have enough sense to stay away from it.
Wow!! I am SHOCKED that so many “Christians” are defending this book, like it’s okay to fill your mind with sinful thoughts. I think they are being greatly deceived and will reap serious consequences in their marriage and in their faith if they don’t repent. Kudos to you for saying what Jesus would have to say about it. I’ll be praying for you!
I’m not religious, but I’m spiritual. Also, I’m in a Dom/sub relationship with my girlfriend. With those disclaimers out of the way … Her mother bought and read the Fifty Shades of Grey series, and recommended it to my gf as well as one of her friends. While I was at her parents place while she was house-sitting, I noticed it sitting on the coffee table. I decided to read through a bit of it. Eventually it was me reading the book to be gf as she was laying in my lap. Now, while you may lambast this from a Christain angle, I’m going to lambast it from a Dom/sub & BDSM angle. This book doesn’t appropriately represent a Dom/sub or BDSM relationship. It makes it sound like all kinds of ceremony, from contracts to special implements need to be involved. While that can be the case, it’s not always so. In every relationship, and even in life in general, there are folks that are natural leaders and dominants, and folks that like to follow or are submissive. The trick is to pair up people well. My gf is with me, b/c I’m naturally dominant. I’m with her, b/c she’s naturally submissive. We do kink around a bit, from spanking and other things, but it is consensual and it didn’t involve us writing up a contract or making a huge hooplah out of it. Whether folks want to admit it, every relationship, whether with a lover, partner or friend or family, will have a dominance / submissive aspect to it. Someone’s the alpha, someone’s the omega. The trick is to find alpha’s that appreciate you and support you if you’re an omega type, and to find omegas that are worth your time supporting if you’re an alpha. A good alpha will see the strength in others, and find ways to help them be a better person, reduce their weaknesses, etc. A good omega will make an alpha want to naturally be a better person, and help them realize it’s good to be a leader, but bad to be a bully. Getting back to this book… it’s basically just something that uses BDSM as the schtick to help middle-aged house-wives explore their fantasies of a Dom/sub relationship. Some of these women may already be in a D/s relationship, but maybe it’s not as spicy as they’d like. Or, they may be neglected by their husbands. But, in reading this book, what struck me through-out was how self-centered and annoying the protaganist girl was the whole time. She would constantly flip back-n-forth between being unsure about what she was doing to being certain. Likewise, I don’t like erotic lit for women the same way women don’t like porn for men. It creates this over-inflated artificial fantasy world that folks start to compare their reality to. Women reading this junk will start to think their man isn’t decent anymore b/c he’s not some wealthy business tycoon with ripped abs that’s constantly flirting with them in every sentence of every day and taking them to the bedroom and spanking them then getting off into them at least 5 times during every sex session. Your husband or boyfriend could be a perfectly good guy. He has his flaws. Ok, who doesn’t. But, b/c you sit around and read junk like this, you’ll never be satisfied. It’s the same reason why guys shouldn’t sit around and watch porn all day when teyy’re in a relaitonship. Eventually, it’s just over-stimulating, and the best real-life experience will be nothing compared to the fantasy smut you’ve filled your head with. As for the BDSM aspect of it, it sounds like the author trolled a few BDSM web-sites and forums, listened to a few couples talk about their experiences, then went overboard dreaming up her own personal fantasies about it while never having actually experienced a D/s and/or BDSM relationship herself. Overall, it’s an insult to people that actually explore real-life D/s relationships, and to people that explore and practice BDSM. The lead characters are far too immature to be in that type of relationship, b/c they’re constantly acting like morons. Likewise, the writing is just all over the place. One moment he says he’s going to “punish” her for something, then pages later all they do is have sex. It’s as if the author forgot her train of thought and just went off on some different tangent. There’s little cohesion, and then at the end of the first book we find out how really naive and dumb the girl is when she gets spanked with a belt by Grey after she ASKED FOR IT, she had a safety word and decided not to use it, but then blames him for being a horrible person that has ruined her life. Like I said, these are not mature people that should be in this type of relationship. However, with all of that said, my gf likes it when I read to her, and her and I like to discuss what’s going on in the books…both the good and the bad. It hasn’t prompted us to analyze our relationship; we know what we both want out of our relationship, and we give each other it. But, it has prompted us to analyze their relationship, and how they’re constantly dropping the ball on it since the author didn’t ground it in reality. But, reality doesn’t sell…fantasy does…hence the absurdity of this entire series.
Side note, I agree with others that if you heard about the book, and it’s not your cup of tea, then skip it. Plus, you gave valid reasons why you decided to skip it. I think there’s 2 types of people in life … those that hear that the milk is bad, and decide to avoid taking a sip, and those that have to take a sip for themselves just to be sure. Wise people learn from others mistakes, smart people from their own, and fools never learn. While I applaud this book for perhaps prompting some folks to explore what BDSM and D/s is all about (hopefully, instead of assuming what this book reveals of it is exactly how it is), I’m not comfortable with how it explores it. It explores it in a damaging, sensationalist way in order to create drama and tension..which the target audience wants. Sex was used in literature much the same way before folks accepted that sex was ok, not taboo, and that sex could be had for fun as well as pro-creation. Obviously BDSM isn’t needed for pro-creation, but different folks are wired differently. Some explore BDSM, b/c it allows them to fulfill needs in a controlled, consensual environment instead of ending up in abusive relationships. That doesn’t mean it’s for everyone. But, the issue I have with this book is as much attention as it’s brought to BDSM, it’s done so in a negative fashion.
What if someone says the milk is bad, but it’s actually good?
I’m very proud of you putting this out there!! A co-worker handed me this book- I started reading it and put it down, feeling somewhat sick to my stomach. I’m no prude, I’m not shy, but I agree with you, my husband is my number one concern.
I have read all three books. While I respect your opinion, I enjoyed all three books. Erotic yes, BDSM, yes. But if we as Christians are to avoid all erotic images, then I suggest that would require us to whole up in our homes and never come out. They are erotic images at the beach, I see my christian friends who talk about modesty and then their little girls are wearing two piece bikinis barely covering their bodies, commercials on tv, the list is never ending. If she doesn’t want to read the book that is her right. But the shame of it is, she also doesn’t know that these books are also a beautiful love story. A story about a man with one screwed up childhood who meets the woman of his dreams and how she helps him change his ways of thinking, heals his broken heart and brings him full circle to be a loving husband and father and son. Does it contain BDSM? Yes, between two adults and ONLY those two adults. This book is not full of BDSM and orgies. If only us “christians” could admit how screwed up we are and admit we would love to come full circle with completely healed hearts, this world would be a more honest and real place. If she chooses not to read the book because of the BDSM, and then quote scripture to back her up then I think there is a lot of scripture to support the positives of these books. A verse in Peter comes to mind “Love deeply for it covers a multitude of sin”, among others.
Just because there are hypocrites in this world doesn’t mean that our sin is pleasing to God. I completely admit that I’m screwed up and I know that I have no hope without God. It’s through Him, and Him alone, that I’ll find peace, contentment, and a healed heart.
I am still shocked to see in this day how many people are still so quick to judge. I am a christian I am married and I have read Fifty Shades, yes all three. It is one of the best series I have read it’s a love story, yes their are twisted parts yes there is a lot of sex in it, but it is not all sex and BDSM. Yes it is mentioned and talked about but its a love story about a man who had a troubled childhood and having not so popular ways of getting off but him changing his ways for a woman he loves. To be frank the arousing parts of my book do not in fact make me want my husband less, but make me want my husband MORE. You cannot (as another commenter suggested) just “flip through it” to understand what it is all about. You could probably take all of the sex scenes put them together from all of the books and it’d fit into one book smaller than the first one in the series. Please educate yourself with the subject you are talking about before condemning readers of this book.
The author did not condemn…She gave “her reasons” of not reading the book. It’s a matter of personal opinion. More than her, you are sounding defensive because you like the book. And trust me, Fifty Shades is a book that you can flip by and still get the whole story…You know why? Because all it has is 80% sex and 20% story. And this is coming from a reader who has read all three. I expected it to be romantic and girlish..well it turned out to be the representation of an adult female who wants to disbalance this world’s already fragile balance of love and relationships. This book has made women look for a “Christian Grey” in the man they love. So please, do not be a big supporter of this unless you have a knack of seeing the dark side of it. There is not much of a bright side to talk about.
Fifty Shades is a book that you can flip by and still get the whole story…You know why? Because all it has is 80% sex and 20% story.
hahaha. true. 🙂
Just wanted to say thank you for standing up for what you believe in. I never heard of this book until just a week or so ago, looked it up online to see what the hubbub was about and said no thank you. I am a Christian as well and I applaud you for listening to God and His Word above what the world says is ok for Christians. Just wanted to send an encouraging comment of gratitude your way because I’m sure you’ve been getting (and probably will continue to get) a barrage of nasty emails and comments on your viewpoints.
I just wanted to thank you for standing up for TRUTH! I think your article succinctly describes why a Christian woman should not be reading the FSOG trilogy. I, like you, have not read the books. I HAVE read a page from the first book because most of the women from my workplace have read the book, borrowing from one another. It was porn, straight and simple.
Listen, non-Christians: I don’t expect you to understand why we Christians object to erotic, pornographic fiction. You don’t believe what we believe about sex. Non-Christians want to throw out the “don’t judge us” line because their understanding of scripture is so twisted and uniformed. They accuse us of being uniformed readers because we haven’t read the books, when all ANYONE has to do is read a synopsis of FSOG to understand what it is about. I mean, seriously, I read ONE PAGE and it was the most pornographic text I’ve ever read. But, I don’t condemn non-Christians for reading these books; I expect them to.
However, what makes me angry are the Christian women who have been so quick to jump all over these books, defend their choice in reading it, and to exclaim that the Christians who choose not to read the books are being judgmental! They are the ones judging our choice to NOT read the books. Our conviction to not read FSOG is because it would not be pleasing to our SAVIOR, to Jesus, who died for the sins of lust, sexual immorality, and idolatry. I don’t know about you, but as a single, 20-something, I struggle with the sin of lust. I cannot image reading such vivid, pornographic, sexual scenes in a book and not lusting and engaging in sexual immorality. You know, I’ve heard a dozen time from friends and co-workers (many who are Christians) who tell me they are reading the books and this is their excuse line: “But there’s a story to the books, too, it’s a good story that just sucks you in”…They’re all just reading for the story right?! Yeah, and men buy Playboy Magazine to read the articles. Does my flesh want to read the books? Yes. Would I enjoy them? Yep, probably a whole lot. But should I read them, as a Christian? No…Scripture makes that clear, over and over again.
The New Testament has a least a dozen verses that warn Christians about engaging in sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.
Colossians 3:5-7 Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.
1 Thessalonians 4:2-7 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.
And these verses are just a few that address sexual immorality.
Once again, thank you for your conviction in following God’s Word by not reading porn on paper. I pray that the others who disagree with your article eventually find that the Jesus of the Bible’s wrath on sin is even greater than we could ever imagine, yet He has a love that no sexual fantasy can ever compare to.
*Applause* Very well articulated.
Thank you! I couldn’t have said it better.
thank you for this post as some one that has been affected by a spouse that is an addict of pornography. I appreciate that this is something that people are now willing to talk about. we need to stand together to combat the porn industry.
Thanks so much. based on what I have heard of the book, I made a similar decision. It’s refreshing to see that I’m not the only one, especially when the book (and potential movie possibilities) are all the rage these day.s
Ashley,
Thank you for having the courage to stand up for your beliefs! I agree with you that this book is not one that should be supported. I recently read a quote by a religious leader, that I hope will be helpful to your cause to spread truth and morality,
“The tide of evil flows. Today it has become a veritable flood. Most of us, living somewhat sheltered lives, have little idea of the vast dimensions of it. Billions of dollars are involved for those who pour out pornography, for those who peddle lasciviousness, for those who deal in perversion, in sex and violence. God give us the strength, the wisdom, the faith, the courage as citizens to stand in opposition to these and to let our voices be heard in defense of those virtues which, when practiced in the past, made men, women and nations strong, and which, when neglected, brought them to decay.”
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY is garbage and attacks women in my opinion. We’ve had enough trouble trying to be recognized as equals without having to be submission in bed. However, don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude! I do enjoy a bit of playfulness with my husband, would I would never “submit” to being mistreated or bossed around. Being Christian has nothing to do about it for me personally, it has everything to do with free will and being in a healthy relationship. I read the first book and I had no desire to read the others just to watch this cruel man mistreat this woman. In the real world they would both need therapy and she would need to get out of the abusive relationship. This is very sad and I would hope this doesn’t make some men feel women like to be pushed down in bed. I am frankly shocked at how the world and hollywood is seemingly over joyed with this book. I completely judge my friend now who like this garbage, it truly saddens me.
First “50 Shades of Grey” and then “50 Shades Darker”? …so the book isn’t getting any lighter is it… I’m assuming the next book will be called “Pitch Black” lol. Okay enough of the funnies, but really… the whole purpose is to avoid something harmful. Does the book have sex in it ? Yes/No/Maybe so? Okay, yes. What could possibly be good about that. “Nothing’s wrong with that” so you say. Well Ashley’s basic question to you is… how can it be harmful for men to watch pornography because of the images placed in their heads and it not be harmful for woman to read erotic sentences with the images that are placed in their heads. Whats the difference? ….Video vs. Font? Not a good enough difference. Think about it.
Congratulations! I’m not reading it either! Proud of you!
Michelle in Baltimore
Wonderful post Ashley. Thank you for sharing the same sentiments of many Christian woman in this country. Myself included. God Bless You!!!
I think everyone here makes very valid points. Christians have a set of standards that they like to follow much as anyone else does. Also, I know that everyone has judged something without investigating it thoroughly first. I’ve done it myself. Personally, I have read the first book, getting ready to start on the second, and I love them. I agree with the people that say that it does help in the bedroom. I am happily married and it is helping our sex life. We don’t go to the extremes in the book, but sometimes we like to spice things up. I personally don’t think it’s wrong to read books like this because it’s not like you’re going out and having sex with someone else other than your partner. It’s actually just another way of getting people in the mood…..much like chocolate! Chocolate is a very common aphrodisiac, and helps get people in the mood all the time. I wouldn’t recommend this book to anyone below the age of 18 just because of the graphic scenes, but I do recommend it to others. If you have something against reading it, that’s fine, because everyone makes their own choices and everyone else should respect that.
I won’t be reading it either as I would not find it edifying. However after discussing the book with a mature friend her persepective of the book (filth aside) was that the central character (Christian Grey) had suffered some kind of awful abuse as a child, then had been seduced as a teen by a “Mrs Robinson”-type women, and as a result he is a broken person sexually, and that there was something redemptive in the love for him which the young student had, and her showing him the trust which such a strange relationship like that needs (the “safe word”) – that she was trying to find out about his traumatic past which had caused him to be sexually deviant, and that through her love for him, tries to bring him healing.
The fact is that there ARE broken people sexually – my lovely Christian husband has a slightly deviant side sexually because of something which happened in his past, and I do not know how to heal him of it – I just keep trying to love him through it, but it is hard. Maybe the book is more true to life than we think, but for me I would find it traumatic reading such a book.
I know a lot of Christian moms (sadly) who have gotten sucked into this version of “mommy porn” (as labeled by the MAINSTREAM media!) … my prayer is that we will change our focus, make even our thoughts pleasing to God (Psalm 19:14), and that in some way I can share your blog with my friends who have read this garbage. (well, isn’t that what it is?! REALLY???) Thank you so much for your Biblical viewpoint on this. Be blessed.
Thank you for your kind comments and yes, please feel free to share this post with anyone!
Ashley, thank you for standing up against this obviously sinful book. We need more young women like this! Stand strong. 🙂
Thanks so much for your blog. My husband became addicted to porn at an early age unbeknownst to me until too late…it spiraled into something quite evil ending our marriage and causing me to not trust many men. I know women can fall into that dark endless pit too, so for my personal sake, I know I need to stay away from it and discourage my young teen to do the same.
Thank you, Sherri, for your comment and word of exhortation to others. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. You said it well, porn is a dark endless pit.
Great Response to the Fifty Shades of Grey craze. I am also not going to read it.
When my friends asked me if I had read this book, my answer was NO. I told them I don’t read porn, but instead I make love to my husband so I can have those images stuck in my head forever. You do not need to read a book to get “ideas” on how to have red-hot ideas for the bedroom! God is PRO-SEX, and wants a marriage to be filled with smoking bedrooms. But between hubby and wife, not hubby, wife and Mr. Grey. My husband and I have dealt with the sin of porn and trust me on this and this is a very educated answer, porn either on a screen or in a book will break you and your marriage. The devil only needs a crack to break through, don’t let him.
Oh and I have to ask, if you have read the book and feel that it is okay, are you okay with your hubby viewing porn on the computer or popping a disk in? Would you want your husband reading erotica? If not then why is it okay for you but not for him?
My thoughts exactly… wow, this is a great article! thank you and be blessed!
As an athiest, I laugh. As a gay athiest I laughe even harder. And as a gay athiest with a degrea in psychology, world history, and human sexuality, I feel pity because u are lacking knowledge. First, as a Christine your not support to judge others. Second it’s not your place to say what your “god” says. The bible was INTERPRETED by MEN in biblical times. And the funny thing is you say consenting sex depicted in this book is wrong, what about marry becoming prevent at age 14. NOW THAT IS WRONG.
Silly Christians! Books are for intelligent people! Now go back to worrying about rational intelligent people’s soul!